By Callum 
Key Takeaways
- A tenth of all people met their significant other online
- It’s easy to fall victim to distractions when using dating apps
- They can promote superficial interactions over meaningful ones
- Hobby-based apps are a viable alternative to mainstream apps
- Shared traits and interests are the basis of a successful relationship
In a world where love can be found with a swipe, it’s worth asking — are dating apps helping people connect, or quietly preventing them from forming real intimacy? According to critics of online dating, the accessibility of countless dating apps and websites is undermining hopeful romantics’ ability to find meaningful and suitable partners. However, a 2025 Pew Research Center survey shows that approximately a tenth of all people met their significant other online, making dating apps a reasonably effective tool — especially as people are meeting through more traditional channels (friends, work, etc.) less frequently.
Social scientists acknowledge that scientific evidence doesn’t always align with personal experiences. It’s easy to fall victim to the distractions that come with dating apps if you lose focus on your intentions. It seems that the number of potential partners is infinite, as anyone who has signed up for a dating app can attest. However, the story is very different when it comes to quality.
It Takes Effort to Build Intimacy
Superficial swiping culture is worlds apart from the genuine process of building intimacy — a process that involves investing time in meaningful conversations with a potential partner and creating space for emotional connection to grow. Asking thoughtful questions, showing curiosity, and allowing vulnerability are powerful ways to strengthen that bond. These small, consistent efforts are what truly nurture closeness and help two people move beyond surface-level attraction.
Couples must not only be interested in learning more about each other but also trust that it is safe to be vulnerable. They can foster these elements by both demonstrating a desire to find out more about each other and being more open. The reason intimacy is important is that it helps create a sense of safety where partners can connect authentically.
In the age of endless options, many people confuse connection with communication. Messaging, liking, and sharing moments can create an illusion of closeness, but emotional intimacy is built slowly through trust, shared experiences, and consistency. True closeness requires patience — something dating apps, with their constant flow of new matches, often discourage.
Psychologists also highlight the “paradox of choice,” where too many options reduce satisfaction. When everything feels replaceable, people start treating relationships like digital transactions — quick, disposable, and surface-level. Real emotional connection, however, demands presence, empathy, and genuine curiosity about another person’s world.
How Dating Apps Affect Real Intimacy
Dating apps were originally created to make finding love more efficient, but they’ve also made it easier for people to replace meaningful effort with quick dopamine hits. The thrill of matching or receiving a message can become addictive, creating a cycle of validation-seeking rather than genuine bonding.
Over time, this behavior can reshape how users view relationships themselves — not as something to nurture, but as something to “upgrade.” Swiping through hundreds of profiles can subconsciously make people compare potential partners, reducing appreciation for individuality.
However, not all dating apps are harmful. Used with awareness, they can facilitate authentic connections. The key is self-discipline — knowing what you’re looking for and setting clear intentions for interaction. When people take a mindful approach, they can bypass the superficial aspects and actually find partners who share their deeper values and emotional goals.
The Rise of Gen Z Alternatives
Gen Z is looking for alternatives to dating apps, such as hobby-based clubs, running groups, gaming communities, or extracurricular spaces where they can meet like-minded people and foster genuine romantic connections. Platforms based on shared interests are attracting more users as membership in some traditional dating apps declines. Popular platforms include fitness apps, film review sites, and social communities built around hobbies.
According to the BBC, evidence suggests that Gen Z members are leaving dating apps, with the ten most popular apps in the UK seeing a drop of almost 16%. The BBC cites a late 2024 report published by Ofcom, which reveals that Tinder lost almost 600,000 users, while Bumble dropped by 368,000, Hinge by 131,000, and Grindr by 11,000.
A recent survey of US college students and other Gen Z members found that just under 80% have decided to terminate regular dating app use. Ofcom’s 2024 Online Nation report noted that analysts believe the novelty of dating apps has worn off for younger users. Match Group, the owner of Tinder and Hinge, even acknowledged in a January 2024 letter to shareholders that young users are seeking more authentic, low-pressure ways of connecting with potential partners.
This generational shift shows that the next wave of daters values authenticity over convenience. Many are turning toward community-based experiences, where relationships evolve naturally through shared passions. Whether through sports, art, gaming, or volunteering, these environments create opportunities for genuine chemistry — something no algorithm can replicate.
Shared Interests: The New Foundation of Relationships
Shared hobbies and interests can be a foundation for exploring deeper compatibility and discovering shared personality traits — often the true basis of a successful relationship. People who meet through mutual passions often report stronger understanding and better long-term satisfaction. When partners connect over activities they both enjoy, conversations flow easily, and emotional bonds strengthen naturally.
This shift toward interest-driven connections mirrors a broader social desire for authenticity. People today are less interested in curating idealized versions of themselves online and more eager to be accepted as they are. Relationship experts argue that mutual engagement in shared experiences builds trust more effectively than endless messaging ever could.
At its core, intimacy is not built by technology but by time — moments of laughter, openness, and even vulnerability that come from genuine human interaction.
The Bottom Line
Dating apps, whether traditional, niche-, or interest-based, don’t necessarily stop people from developing intimacy. It all comes down to meeting the right person and allowing the relationship to deepen and grow. That said, some might find themselves put off by cookie-cutter platforms’ superficial mechanisms of interaction and determine that niche-based apps or offline communities are a better fit.
Still, it’s worth reflecting on how technology shapes the way we connect. When used with awareness, dating apps can help foster meaningful encounters. But when approached passively, they risk becoming distractions that dilute emotional depth. Real intimacy will always depend on presence, empathy, and effort — not the platform itself.
FAQs
Q1: Can dating apps really build long-term relationships?
Yes, many couples have met through apps, but success depends on communication style, honesty, and emotional maturity rather than the app itself.
Q2: Why are younger people moving away from dating apps?
Gen Z seeks authenticity and real-world connections, often finding hobby-based communities more genuine than digital matching systems.
Q3: How can someone use dating apps mindfully?
Limit swiping time, focus on meaningful conversations, and be clear about intentions to avoid emotional fatigue or superficial bonds.